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By Amariah Tyler

@AmariahSTyler

Can we stop blaming the networks for the foolery that they call entertainment on television now? I mean, seriously. Where there is no demand, there is no supply—a simple economics principle. If no one was watching these reality shows that misrepresent black women collectively (i.e. Real Housewives of Atlanta, Basketball Ex-Girlfriends Jump-offs Wives, and Love & Hip Hop), then there wouldn’t be the need for this article or the scrutiny or backlash that the shows have received. “It’s just entertainment to me,” I’ve heard several black women say as a response in defense of their choice to support this blatant coonery. “I’m educated…I have my own business…I don’t act like that…It’s funny to me…” Sorry I missed the memo on the hilarity of it all, but let me ask you something. Would it be funny if a woman threw a wine bottle upside your head? Would it be hilarious if a woman stomped you in the ground as you clamor to hold onto your last shred of dignity while your womanhood is exposed for the world to see? Or maybe it would be comical for a woman to spit in your face for the world to see. Yeah, it’s all fun in games until it becomes YOUR reality.

There was a disturbing video circulating on the internet, about a month ago, that featured a young black woman arriving at another young black woman’s house, confronting her over some tweets that the other young woman tweeted about her on the social networking site, Twitter.  I started to ignore it, but curiosity got the best of me and I finally clicked on a video link that I saw on Facebook. What I saw left me literally sick to my stomach. The young lady, whose house it was, opened the door and they exchanged words for a few seconds before the girl on the outside grabbed her and began violently attacking her. Apparently, whatever was said about her on Twitter was enough for her to pay the other woman a personal visit and use her as an example. She punched, stomped, and dragged the girl off of her porch, by her hair, while continuing to assault her. The girl was left beaten and humiliated while onlookers stood by doing nothing and recording the whole thing. The video spread like a wildfire over the internet and caught the attention of authorities. The attacker—a 19 year-old woman who felt she had something to prove—was later charged for assault. She now sits with a charge on her record and must suffer the consequences for the rest of her life. It wasn’t funny then and it’s still not funny now.

 

 

 

After watching the video and reading comments from other viewers, I thought it was interesting how some of the SAME people that were in an outrage over that disturbing video are avid watchers of the SAME thing on Basketball Wives, Real Housewives of ATL, and Love & Hip Hop which I find hypocritical. Just because the young ladies in that reality video were not dressed in Gucci or Louis Vuitton and fighting in extravagant rented mansions, does not make a difference. That video of the two young ladies was some REAL reality for you and not some scripted show to garner ratings. That was REAL act of violence and the young lady received a REAL assault charge.  It could have been your sister, cousin, niece, daughter, or friend as either lady.  As if that’s not horrifying enough, people tune into to watch the a supposedly “high class” version of the same thing weekly—fattening the pockets of these network executives all while willingly being the pawns on their chess board.

 

I admit there was a time when I tuned into similar shows as the ones I named earlier. I was an avid watcher of Flavor of Love as an undergrad in college and tuned in weekly to see what type of foolery would ensue. I literally cleared my schedule to make sure I didn’t miss an episode. It was amusing, entertainment, and as long as it wasn’t me, who was it or I hurting by watching? However, when you know better, you do better. We can’t demand more from TV networks, producers, writers, and actors than you do for ourselves. There’s no way you should have higher standards for multi-billion dollar networks, than for yourself—no way. By tuning in, you’re a part of the demand and become a part of the problem instead of the solution. The networks and producers don’t care about the misrepresentation or mis-education of black women because it’s a very lucrative business to them. So don’t be fooled by Shaunie O’Neal’s “promise” of less violence on her show.  Don’t continue misplacing blame to MTV, VH1, Bravo, BET, or any other network for enforcing adverse stereotypes for black women when, ultimately, the person you should be upset with is yourself. Yes, YOU. Don’t talk, debate, or protest the negativity that black women receive, if you’re the one supplying the ammunition. Although the demographics from these shows are mostly women 18+, don’t think your children aren’t watching—particular your black daughters. What kind of message are you sending to them? What type of women are you raising them to be? A bunch of she said-she said, materialistic, fighting, bullies? Who’s that empowering?

It’s time that we as black women take our power back. Every week there’s a new article, book, or news segment announcing what’s wrong with black women—why we’re single, fat, broke, angry, etc. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted of it all. Let’s not continue to perpetuate the stereotypes and labels placed on us by being enablers and mere pawns in the direct plight to destroy us. If people were not tuning in by the millions every week to these shows where wine bottles are thrown, weave is snatched, women are stomped and bullied, the word “bitch” is used as a salutation or term of endearment, then there would not be a need for this article or for commendable souls like Alexis M., who started an online petition boycotting Basketball Wives. If you’re looking for positive reality shows featuring black women to watch, sisters Tia & Tamara Mowry or gospel duo Mary Mary’s shows are good ones.  Remember, YOU are the consumer. YOU demand what is supplied. What you are demanding, and what continues to be supplied, is simply up to YOU.