Shares

By Amariah Tyler

Pop culture disgusts me right now—especially urban pop culture. It’s taken me a minute to digest that travesty of a performance that Nicki Minaj gave at the Grammys—just a few commercial breaks after Jennifer Hudson’s heartfelt tribute to the late Whitney Houston and Adele’s hauntingly good performance of her groundbreaking hit, “Rolling In The Deep.” Words cannot begin to describe the shame and disappointment I felt after watching that sacrilegious contrivance, but what was worse was all the “It’s only entertainment!” tweets and Facebook posts that were justifying that high definition coonery on national television.

Not long after that, Rihanna releases not one, but two songs, with her ex-boyfriend/abuser Chris Brown. I guess she got tired of the press that Nikki was receiving and decided to create a little shock and awe of her own. Never mind the people who rallied against Chris Brown and sided with Rihanna in her defense after that horrifying beating she received three years ago. Oh, you forgot about that? No worries. Let Google be your friend. Be sure to read that police report and check out that striking photo of Rihanna with a busted face as well. Oh, and never mind the millions of young girls who are interpreting Rihanna’s actions as saying that it’s okay to return to your abuser as long as he’s good looking, rich, and can dance as well as Brown. But it’s only entertainment…right?

Let me apologize. You see, I grew up during an era where real music was celebrated, and few gimmicks were tolerated. When singers like Anita Baker, Whitney Houston, Gladys Knight, Patti Labelle and others graced the stage not because of the lack of clothes they were wearing, but because of their voices—their gift that God had bestowed upon them to share with the world. Even nineties groups like En Vogue, a quartet of beautiful ladies who were known for their sensuality, did not display this blatant oversexed, raunchy images that you see from artists today. I’m also from an era where Queen Latifah’s “U.N.I.T.Y.” was the anthem for millions of young, and even older, women. Women proudly proclaimed “Who you calling a bitch?…You gotta let em know, you ain’t a bitch or a hoe!” The Grammy award-winning song empowered women everywhere and taught them that those self-hating titles are never words to own or live by. Now, some years later, it’s okay for “hip hop” artists to come out with songs entitled “Stupid Hoe”, refer to themselves as a “Bad Bitch”, degrade themselves by fighting on reality shows for ratings, and continue to add fuel to the negative stereotypes that have been placed on black women as a whole. Think about it. Have you ever heard Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, or Adele refer to themselves as “Bad Bitches”? Neither have I. But it’s only entertainment, right?

While the media was in frenzy over Rihanna and Chris Brown’s publicity stunt collaboration, I thought about Amber Cole. Yes,  Amber Cole. Remember her? The 14-year old girl who was taped on video “orally servicing” a young male in a video that went viral and floated around the web for weeks? Yeah, her. I thought about how amazing it was that Rihanna, a grown woman capable of making her own choice and decisions, gets a pass for her decision to collaborate (or return to dating according to various websites) with Brown after he beat the crap out of her. However, Amber Cole, was crucified on Twitter, the blogs and the news for making a poor decision that will forever stain her name and reputation forever.  Parents expressed their disgust and women and men all over the world called her slut, hoe, bitch, and every other unmentionable name in the book. Yet, these are the images that people celebrate and praise every day. These are the stars and artists that your daughters listen to and look up to. The music downloaded to their phones and iPods. The artists featured on that network they call Black Entertainment that your daughters watch every evening. The top trending topics on Twitter and the top stories on their favorite blogs. Have you actually listened to the lyrics of Rihanna’s “Birthday Cake”?  “It’s not even my birthday/but he wants to lick the icing off”, Rihanna croons. Oh that’s not that bad you say? How about this one? “I know you wanna bite this/It’s so enticing/Nothing else like this/Imma make you my bitch.” Yeah, re-read those lyrics. Doesn’t take a PhD to figure out what they’re insinuating here. These are lyrics and phrases that your daughters, sisters, and nieces are singing, texting, tweeting and posting as their Facebook statuses. Little girls are now aspiring to be “Barbies” and are making declarations that “Chris Brown’s so sexy. He can beat me anytime!” But it’s only entertainment, right?

The total blame can’t be placed on these manufactured artists that the labels, radio, television and blogs throw at us every day. We’re living in a day in time where gimmicks and coonery from urban artists supersede those who are positive. The exploitation of women did not begin with Nicki Minaj and Rihanna nor will it end with them. You see that every night watching shows like Real Housewives of Atlanta, Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, and others. I used them as examples since they are arguably two of the biggest entertainers out right now. They’ve become role models to millions of young girls around the world. Female artists like Goapele, Corinne Bailey Rae, Ledisi, Jill Scott, Janelle Monae and Esperanza Spalding do not get the mainstream shine they deserve. Know why? Because they refuse to exploit or demoralize themselves to more than a piece of ass not worthy of an ounce of respect or dignity is why.

This fight against the oversexualization of our children, the acceptance of misogyny towards our women, and the degradation of our women in music and society as whole cannot be fought overnight. It takes each one of us stepping up and simply saying NO. No, I will not accept this bull that networks like BET and VH1 shove down our throats, urban radio has on repeat every 15 minutes, or magazines like XXL promote with the clear conscious that they’re poisoning your kids’ minds. You must refuse to allow the images portrayed in the media to set the standard for your children. You can’t guard everything they see and hear, but you can lead by example. Stop giving the media the power to influence and raise your kids—especially your daughters. NO, their only ambition in life does not have to be becoming the next Barbie or the baddest bitch. NO, physical and mental abuse is NEVER okay no matter how hard the beat is to the song. Tell them that they are queens, their body is a temple, and that their mind is a goldmine—rich and full of wisdom and power. No matter how much the media portrays artists like Nicki Minaj and Rihanna as the rule, your daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, or friend can be the exception.

 

Oh, but I forgot. It’s only entertainment…right?